Crater Lake: Releasing Control

Behind the Wheel

I am the driver in our family. When Jeremy and I started dating, he had never driven on a California freeway. Over the years, he has driven thousands of miles and become a more-than-competent driver, but when we’re going somewhere together, 98% of the time I’m behind the wheel. I certainly don’t mind; in fact, I enjoy driving. A lot. I love the freedom of an open road. I love figuring out the best way to get to my destination, and navigating different routes. And I love being in control of my vehicle, and everything/everyone in it.

But when I’m in control, I have to focus on the road. I have to remember that the safety of everyone in the car is dependent on my ability to be aware of and respond appropriately to my surroundings. I may have a large windshield with an expansive view in front of me, but my attention is directed to the act of driving safely. It’s easy for me to completely miss a glimpse of elusive wildlife, or to not fully absorb the grandeur of a scene because I have to stay focused on the road. It’s a steep price to pay, but worth it for me to have the control I crave.

Letting the Expert Drive

When I was researching Crater Lake in preparation for our visit, I learned that a must-do summer activity is to follow Rim Drive around the entire lake. There are plenty of scenic views and pullouts along the way, but they can get busy and fill up during peak tourist season. I also discovered that Crater Lake runs a trolley that will take visitors on a two-hour tour around Rim Drive, hitting all the major stops and with narration by the driver enhancing the views with historical and scientific explanations of what we were seeing. This sounded like a great way to avoid the headaches of trying to find a parking spot at each pullout, especially since we were traveling in a 4-vehicle caravan. We all decided it was worth the cost and made reservations.

If you know me at all, or have read some other posts of mine, you’ll know that I am a planner. I want to know all there is to know about a place I’m visiting so I can intentionally choose what to see and what to miss. I don’t want to leave a place and find out about something incredible we easily could have worked into our trip if I had only known about it. I really like to be in control of what we see and do. Being the family driver is the perfect complement to also being the family trip planner.

But when I made that trolley reservation, something in me released the need to be in charge. I knew that the driver knows the best places to stop far better than my Internet research would inform me. I knew that I wouldn’t have to be aware of the distance between stops so I could be ready to pull off at the right times. And I also knew that I wouldn’t have to be worried about what the rest of the people in our caravan wanted to do and whether they would be able to get parking spots.

And do you know what? It felt good. Even better was actually riding the trolley, listening to the driver’s narration while looking out the window and truly absorbing the scenes before me; being present with my family the whole time and sharing the experience together; relaxing in the knowledge that our driver is more of an expert on this road than I’ll ever be, and he will keep us safe.

Back to the Blog

I’ve taken a significant break from blogging for over two years now. I don’t have a good reason except that life got busy. I’ve wanted to pick it back up, but always found something else to fill the time. We visited Crater Lake in August of 2018. It’s now December of 2020. This year has been one where whatever semblance of control I thought I had on my life has been flipped on its head. I am currently on furlough for the second time this year. I got a lot of projects done during the first furlough, but re-starting the blog somehow never made the list. I have no idea how long this second furlough will last, but the more I try and put off writing, the more it calls to me. I tell myself lots of reasons why I should keep putting it off (“What do I have to say that anyone else would care to read?” “No one will read it anyways.” “I’m trying to do too much already – why take this on, too?”). But I am realizing that this is just me trying to maintain control again. Once I post something, it’s out there for the world to see, and I can’t control how people perceive or react to it. It’s easier to keep it inside my head where I have complete control.

But I wonder what I’m missing by holding on so tightly. What scenes are passing me by because I have to focus on keeping everything safe and secure? What if I loosen my grip and let Someone else drive? Someone who knows the road inside and out; Someone who is intimately aware of all the best places to stop; Someone who has such depth of knowledge and understanding to narrate my journey, if only I would let go and listen. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope,'” (Jeremiah 29:11, NLT).